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Chip and a Chair

Poker's crept into my conscious thoughts at least once or twice a day since the weekend. I went a few months without so much as thinking about the game. Last weekend I decided to move all of my poker books from the bedroom to the basement. And that's what set things off...

Seeing all the books I've read, the time I've spent studying the game - it felt like such a waste. I loved poker. Perhaps not as much as the hardcore college students who hunker down for sixteen hours of multi-tabling online games each and every day but I still feel the itch. The sudden removal of poker from my life has left me feeling phantom pains, as if a limb had been removed and I'm only now feeling the effects. I can feel the desire to play poker slowly returning but the reality of sitting down and playing is just ever-so-slighly out of reach.

I'm not sure what I'm doing right now. My bankroll is sitting at around $500. I've also got an unconfirmed pile of chips sitting on Party Poker (which I can't cash out due to some convoluted deposit/cashout restrictions). Besides my funds in an online wallet and at Party, the rest of my bankroll has been liquidated. I bought presents for me and my family, paid off debt, fixed up some stuff around the house, and put poker firmly out of mind. I don't mind having the reduced bankroll. I have a weird "thing" when it comes to money and I'm positive that my enjoyment of poker gets negatively affected by my outlook on finances.

I'm thinking of starting fresh again. I had a long talk with a good friend earlier today. We discussed the good old days of poker. I remember staying up late to play in freeroll tournaments on Hollywood Poker. I was ecstatic when I cashed for a couple bucks after only two hours of play. I remember my early days of playing (and crushing) the ten-cent sit and gos on Tiger Gaming. And there was that one day where I dropped 20% of my bankroll on a single hand (all-in pre-flop for $1 in a $5 no-limit hold'em game - lost KK vs. AA).

Poker was exciting back then. It was fun. Winning money was exciting but it wasn't the reason that I was playing poker. I liked the game. It was new, it was hip, and everyone everywhere was talking about poker.

There are a few things I need to take care of before I start playing poker again.

  • Clean up the software on my aging laptop, backing up or deleting the unnecessary crap clogging up the works.
  • Update PokerTracker and download any new add-ons that might make my life easier.
  • Read or watch anything poker-related to help ease poker back into my life.

I'm not sure what or where I'll be playing. Maybe I'll stick with a couple of weekly tournaments. Or maybe I'll play some sit and gos. Maybe I'll cash out the rest of my bankroll to see if I can come back from nothing by playing freerolls? Or maybe I'll try my hand at Badugi or 5 card draw or Razz.

And as for this site, who knows what will happen? I don't think that I have much left to say about poker. I'm not too keen on writing about my adventures at the lowest stakes: I've been doing just that for the last five years. I'd originally imagined this site chronicling my rise from a nobody to a somebody in the world of poker. It was a pipe dream that never amounted to little more than a few bucks and a damaged ego.

For now, I can confirm that I'll be back. I'm not quite done wasting your time just yet.

1 comment:

Memphis MOJO said...

I can confirm that I'll be back

Good!