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Seriously? Seriously?!

I haven't posted for a couple days because I haven't played. I've got about 180 VPPs left to clear at PokerStars for the month of February. That'll net me a $40 instant cash bonus and an additional $50 bonus from my ongoing Stars reload bonus. Of course, I'm sure that I've lost much more than $90 in my past few sessions. Things have not been going well. For that reason, I've decided to take a couple nights off from poker to try and recharge my batteries.

The last session that I played on Monday night started off pretty well. I was picking up some good hands and connecting with enough flops to stay ahead of my opponents. And then everything fell apart. I picked up AA three times and lost huge pots with them. KK lost. QQ lost. AK couldn't hit a flop if my life depended on it. My situation is not unique: we've all been there before. But it still sucks to lose.

I'm not sure how much I lost because I've refused to look at my numbers until I'm finished clearing my bonus. Given the feeling I had in my stomach, I'm guessing it was another loss of 50-100 BBs over the course of a couple hundred hands. Unless things improve, I may be stuck playing $1/$2 (and paying outrageous rake) until the U.S. finally kills online poker later this year.

If there's a bright side to all of this, it's that I'm still learning every time I sit down to play. I've got the bankroll to suffer some pretty big downswings so I won't be going busto. And if all else fails, my wife and kids couldn't care less whether or not I'm a winning poker player.

I just wish that I didn't care so much...

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