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I've been thinking...

I played a lot of Fallout 3 over the weeekend. I also enjoyed some quality time with my wife and kids.

It's a new week and I'm starting to look at what role I want poker to play in my life...again.

Seriously - how annoying is it that I maintain this cycle of poker boom, poker apathy, self-reflection, and poker hiatus? After having taken some time away from the game, here's my current thinking: I'm never going to be a big time poker player. Just won't happen. I can make more (and far easier) money working my day job. So I'm thinking that I need to approach poker as a hobby. My biggest problem, however, is that I can't play cash game poker for fun. It just won't happen.

Sure, at first, I'm all about just sitting back and enjoying the poker. Lose a buy-in, win back a couple buy-ins, and generally relax while making fun of the donkeys at my tables. But after a few weeks and a modicum of success at these games, I start to look at my hourly rate. My "fun" hobby has now turned into a second job. When things inevitably go poorly and I start to smell the sweet stink of variance, my game goes south and I start disliking poker.

At this point in time, I'm not sure what to do. I can try playing some sit-n-gos again. I find SNGs frustrating but I never view them as a means of making serious money (though some bloggers have proven me wrong on this point). Admittedly, I've looked at my ROI and started to wonder at which buy-in I'd have to play to maintain a good hourly return. But again, that's the kind of thinking that puts me on full-blown hiatus tilt.

Maybe I should just become a casual poker player? I'm not even sure what this means. Play the occasional SNG or MTT. Maybe I should try the occasional blogger tournament? Forget about the money and just play when I feel like it. If I win, so be it. If I lose, who cares?

I could cash out the bulk of my bankroll and take advantage of the favourable exchange rate. Buy myself and my family some nice, new things. Approach poker in a new light. I could use this site, my blog, to discuss more than just poker. Strangely enough, I find my readership tends to drop when I discuss poker and poker theory. Honestly, I can't see me putting out anything better than my SAGE post from a couple years back so maybe poker theory isn't something that I should focus on. And for the record, I'm aware of the irony that my most successful post deals with a form of poker that I can't seem to beat.

I've always strived to be open and honest about my experiences as a poker player. I've never lied about my results. I've tried to become more than a mediocre poker player but things haven't worked out. In the end, I don't have the drive to become the best at the game. Family, friends, video games, and a number of other distractions will always get in the way of me and true poker greatness. I hate being forced to settle with my game as it is but I'm not sure I have much say in the matter.

For those of you who stopped paying attention a few paragraphs ago, let me sum up what I'm trying to say here:

  • I like poker.
  • But I also like many other things much more than poker.
  • I wanted to be a great poker player but it ain't gonna happen.
  • I want to lessen my focus on results and try to enjoy poker regardless of the effect this will have on my bankroll or my future as a poker player. Easier said than done, though.
  • I want to broaden the focus of my site to include non-poker content without lessening my site's appeal to my readers and random Internet audience.
  • I'm sure everything will be back to normal and I'll be playing cash game poker like a madman regardless of what I've written today: it's all part of the cycle.
I guess we'll see what happens around here in the next little while. The next time I play poker, I'm going to play some SNGs. I'll play a little hold'em, some PLO, and maybe some other games. I'll cash out some of my bankroll and try to enjoy some of what life has to offer.

And that's all for now. Have a good one.


SirFWALGMan said...

I have no idea what your bankroll considerations are but I find the 22$ SNG to be a good starting point. The games are nit tight and you can exploit this with raises taking down small pots. There is far less ramma-jamma-jam so the variance is less than say $11 SNG. I personally love them and think they are a good way to make some cash as a hobby.

I totally agree cash drives me nuts. SNGs I can keep a level head most of the time and do well.

Klopzi said...

I guess I could try the $22s. I typically play the $12/$16 turbos on FT/Stars. But I'm also finding that I'm getting picked apart by loose calls.

Just to be clear - did I just say that I might move up to stakes where my raises will be respected?

I'm definitely slipping...

Thanks Waffles!