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A Smashing Weekend

Another week and still no poker played by me. A friend of mine told me today that he finally hit up the $50 NLHE 6-max tables over the weekend and had a great time. He then told me that he decided to play a quick SNG at Party Poker to earn the single Party Point that he needed for some random reward; he took the SNG down for quick $40 profit. It's nice to hear of other people continuing to encounter great deals of success with online gambling as I continue to flounder.

Then again, I guess I need to actually play poker if I ever hope to start winning again. I guess I'm still on tilt. I'm just not ready to accept that there is a lot of variance in poker. There's variance in sit-n-gos; there's variance in NLHE; there's variance in PLO. I hate variance! Variance makes me doubt my poker ability. Variance makes me wonder if I'll ever play a winning session of poker again. Variance makes me wonder if I should even bother with poker when I'll rarely manage more than 1000 hands of poker in a single month.

Unfortunately, I can't play 6 tables of poker at once. A 50,000 hand break-even or losing stretch could last 3-4 years given the number of hands I play in a typical session. I'm finding it increasingly difficult to apply myself to a game that will undoubtedly break me before I break it. And I worry that I'll never be able to compete with the younger, single males and females out there willing and able to devote every spare second of their lives to poker.

That's probably just my recent poker-funk talking. I love the challenge of poker. I like matching wits with the witless and matching smarts with the clueless. But I don't like the true nature of poker: poker is about the grind. Want to get good at poker? Put in the hours. Want to win money at poker? Put in the hours. Want to get rich playing poker? Put in many more hours than the next guy and pray that you have that natural spark and indifference to short-term results that marks you as one of the elite.

Besides my lack of poker on the weekend, I had a little adventure at around 3 AM on Saturday morning. My wife and I were startled awake by a large crashing, banging, and roaring noise filling the house. My youngest son instantly starting crying in his room. My wife went to check on him while I took a quick look out of the front and back windows of our bedroom to see if I could spot anything or anyone.

With our youngest asleep again, my wife and I made our way downstairs. Is there anything more terrifying than walking through the darkness in your house and not knowing what's waiting for you in the dark? With my heartbeat racing, we hit the main floor of the house and started our investigation. My wife boldly walked around in the dark while I scrambled to turn on every single damned light in the fucking place. There's no way I walk around in the dark after getting jerked awake by what sounded like a car smashing into the house (or Freddy Krueger and Jason smashing their way into the house via the first-story windows).

After looking about for a bit, neither my wife nor I found anything. As we started to wander back upstairs, we spotted the source of the heart-stopping noise that we'd heard just minutes ago: our over-sized 6' x 4' mirror had fallen off the wall in our dining room. The amount of broken glass and general devastation was mind boggling!

As we returned to bed, my wife eventually fell asleep. I found myself unable to drift off quite so easily and turned on the TV to help calm my nerves. I kept wondering what I would have done had it not been something as simple as a mirror falling off the wall. And then I started wondering what I would do if something or someone started opening the door to our bedroom as I lay there. Would the adrenaline coursing through my body help or hinder my desperate fight to save my wife and kids?

Let me tell you: thinking of that stuff just as you're trying to sleep is not a good idea. We have some good home security right now with fast police and security team responses and a large wailing siren that would awaken and alert most of our neighbours in the case of any unauthorized access to our house. We also live in a nice, quiet suburb filled with friendly neighbours and young kids everywhere you look. However, I think I may invest in some booby-traps, a baseball bat, and some Matrix-style kung-fu lessons just in case.

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