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The road to mediocrity

It seems that I've been getting quite a few hits lately - and by quite a few, I mean 3 or so a day. Sweet!

Anyway, I decided to find out how people are getting here. Well, I've got some time to kill right now, so let's [it's embarrassing to write as if people are reading this when I know for a fact that most posts go completely unread - I blame the multiple hiatuses that I've taken and not my boring, useless blog] take look at some stats.

Keyword Searches:
So far, I think that Google is definitely winning the race when it comes to searches that lead people to this site. My log only holds the last 100 pageloads, so I'm sure that MSN and Yahoo both contribute as well...just not as much. I don't "Yahoo", so I couldn't care less.

Anyway, here are some recent searches that have led Internet users astray and dropped them here:

  1. pokerace hud registration

  2. law school dropout poker blog

  3. how to clear instant bankroll promotion

  4. matt maroon's poker screen name

  5. poker dominator

  6. poker tips blog - blogger - blogspot

  7. omaha sng

  8. how to be a dealer fo tigergaming

  9. interpoker type no limit pot limit nl fl pl

  10. t2215 trim

  11. level 3: no limit poker noise

Did I really have to list each and every last keyword search? Yes...yes I did. It's funny, I can only see two or three users actually benefiting by coming here. The rest of those searches are weird and/or crap. I'll do my best to provide some answers to those in need.

How to be a dealer for TigerGaming?
I hope I can sit at a table with this guy. If you would like to be a dealer for an Internet Poker Room, send me $5 and a list of your top 3 sites that you would like to deal at and I will get you an interview. If you get hired, I will take the usual 10% consulting fee for recommending you to the respective companies. And before I get sued by whomever, I'm totally kidding. If you want to be a dealer for TigerGaming, I'd recommend following the "Tron" route - other than that, you're S.O.L.

Looking for the Law School Dropout's Blog?
Look no further.

Matt Maroon's screen name?
Good luck on finding that one...he probably keeps his identity secret, especially now that his new book has hit the shelves (haven't read it myself, heard mixed reviews...). Now, I'm not famous or good, so you can find me pretty well anywhere using the name Klopzi or any other combination of names that use the letters KLOPZI. You'll know it's me if I don't chat and type in only "nh" when you got lucky and "thx" or "got lucky..." when I totally outplayed your sorry ass. If you out-play me, I just get up and leave...

t2215 Trim?
WTF? Try bikiniwax.blogspot.com. And yes - that site actually exists. I wanted to make sure it wasn't something offensive before I posted the link. Say "hello" for me...

No limit poker noise?
Kinda sounds like "Phwoot Phwoot Phwoot ..." when the cards are being dealt, and "Clinkety-clink" when someone places a bet. Oh, and "Woo-hoo" and "Bam! Bang! Boom!" when you win and you're playing on the Party or WPC network.

For all the rest of you looking for poker tips, here you go:

  • Play only quality cards (AA-88, AKs - ATs) from early position

  • Loosen up your starting requirements as you approach the button

  • If you see one or two people dominating the table, just leave - it's not worth it

  • Don't be afraid to raise pre-flop with many hands if you think you can get some players to fold or if you have a really good hand.

  • Don't play against any poker bloggers before you've got some experience under your belt - for all the bitching and moaning they may do from time to time, these guys are all pretty f*cking good (I am the exception, of course...really, I'm not even kidding).
My top referrers:
This is a pretty small list:

  1. Al Can't Hang
    Funny blog - read it! What the hell are you waiting for? Go!

  2. Jeays.net
    Need to solve your Rubik's Cube? Want to read about video games, poker and everything in between? Then this is the place for you!
That's it! My log file only goes back 100 pageloads, as I said earlier, so I don't have anything else on my referrers.

Ok, I'm bored - no more stats shit. I don't get enough hits to make this interesting. I need to add some spicier keywords to my site to generate the hits, without resorting to typing out various pr0n star names and naming off the dirtier parts of the human anatomy. Morally, I also want to make sure that anyone who comes to this site searching for something actually gets what they're looking for. So, without further ado:

How about GET RICH QUICK? You could GET RICH QUICK by playing poker online. I can't do it, but I know for a fact that others do. How about GREAT DEALS - there are lots of great bonuses available all over the place. And there's also: Christmas, boobs, beer, wine, how to cook a great turkey, stuffing recipes, Christmas cookies, squares, free toys, hot girls, hot guys, ask Santa, and beef jerky.

Ok, so I cheated - it's my blog and I want hits.

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By the way, I've finished reading Dr. Pauly's Tao of Poker. Pauly definitely leads a far different lifestyle than one I've ever lead or could ever lead. He's got the goods and you're doing yourself a disservice by not reading what Pauly has to say.

I'm now reading Pokerama-rama. He seems like an ordinary guy playing a similar style to me (at least in May 2004). I always like reading blogs from the beginning - you get to watch players grow and get better at what they do. You follow them through their ups and downs, their "I'm the greatest phases" and their "Poker sucks and I'm on hiatus" phases, their "I'm saving up for Vegas" phases and their "I lost 50% of my bankroll playing $5/$10 on Party" phases...Here's hoping that Pokerama-rama provides all the suitable ups and downs - so far, so good!

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Stay tuned for my PS2 pimp post! I was gonna do it today, but I'm running out of time. Have a great weekend everyone!

My plans for the weekend: quality time with my wonderful wife (Klopzette? Mrs. Klopzi? Anyone?), work, videogames and a bit of poker. Plus, the Sens are playing the Canucks tonight at 10 PM EST. I am so there (on my couch, not at the game) and I'm bringing my poker game to the table as well. Time to get my confidence back! Time to make some money! Time to show the world that Klopzi is back and he's pissed off...actually, I'm quite content both in current happenings on and off the poker table, but it makes for better print if I make it look like I'm out for blood.

It's good to be back...until I go on hiatus again, that is...Still, I'll enjoy it while I can.

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Quick note: I typically avoid using the spell checker because I find it annoying and it adds a lot of useless overhead. That being said, I'm gonna use it for this post since I seem to be suffering from "Fat Fingers" today and I'm hammering multiple keys at once.

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One last post today...I ran across a hilarious site and trust me when I tell you that it sounds dirty but is not. The site is Old Grandma Hardcore and it is about a grandmother who loves playing videogames. As a casual gamer myself, I find it absolutely hilarious and this site will get a permanent pimping spot on my site.

A little warning though: Grandma has a pretty filthy f*cking mouth, so be ready to see the f-bomb dropped a few times here and there.

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